When Time is Fleeting

I believe we live life differently when we are aware of how little time we have in a special moment.

I have now spent a whole month in Bandung, Indonesia. That is one-third of my time here, and sitting on my little bed as the rain patters on the windows, that understanding of time feels indifferent and heavy, yet fleeting all at the same time.

Being here, I find myself simply living. I have no one else's experience to compare my own to; I think that is one of the greatest gifts. Although, during this time, I have come to realize spontaneity and adventure do not always ignore human emotions. Things such as anxiety, wanting to be accepted, tiredness, and culture shock all take their turns swirling around my mind. While I acknowledge those feelings are present, I simply let them have their moment, feel them, and continue on knowing they are not a constant. Some days look different than others, but I am honestly so thankful for the growth I have had over the past two years in dealing with these feelings and emotions.

My time here in Bandung has been a treat both internally and externally.

My mornings are spent slow and intentional. I wake up close to when the sun rises and the call to prayer begins. I make some coffee with the little pour-over kit I bought, grab some overnight oats from the fridge, and settle into my favorite spot. I love quiet mornings, they have become incredibly important to me over the last few years. I feel like I have a moment to refresh my soul. Here in the stillness is where I feel most like myself. I journal and I read soaking in the presence of God. These moments in the stillness are what encourage me to continue my apprenticeship under Jesus. These moments are when I remind my heart of truth and I can feel the softness of it. I hope to always savor these moments with my Father in the quiet of the morning.

In the evenings, when the rest of the staff goes home, I order some food, call my mom and dad, and catch them up on my day while they catch me up on theirs. It is a routine I have been holding near and dear to my heart. I catch up with friends from home via social media and voice memos. Sometimes I jump into our BU@NMC group chat just to remind everyone that I miss them and I'm still here. These moments remind me just how loved I am back home. I am so appreciative of the friendships that have grown over the past two years back in Indiana, and to you all, I miss you and I will see you soon <3

Now, that is simply my internal and personal experience here. When I focus the camera lens on the people around me, I am telling you it is like looking at a million shining stars.

What I have said in the last post still holds true. I can see the people of God doing the work of God in such a beautiful and purposeful way here in Bandung. Watching these people worship in a room together is an experience like none other. I see the ones who have poured their whole hearts out during the week to the broken and the hurting, they sit before the King of Kings and in moments I watch as they're being filled up as they pour out even the last drop of what they have left to Him. It is the greatest representation of worship overflow that I have ever experienced. It is so raw and real.

Throughout my week, I spend a few days teaching English to kids in the Center of Hope. We have so much fun singing songs and working through grammar (some of these things have really challenged me... English can be so odd sometimes). On Tuesdays, I travel about 45 minutes to the woman's jail with Anya. I love these women so much. We have sung songs and danced together and I have watched joy spread across their faces in a sense of relief. While some of these women are at the lowest points in their lives, they are so willing to talk about hope and focus on the joy of things in this very moment.

Last week we had some women from Unbound Now Indonesia (people fighting to end human trafficking). While only two people can go into the jail, I sat outside with one of the women. We had the most beautiful conversation sitting right outside of this jail. We talked about the gospel and everything good God has been doing. I was nervous at first knowing that we were sitting right outside of a place filled with police and people coming in and out (and you have no idea who these people are or what they could do). My confidence grow as I watched her passionately talk about what is most alive to her: the gospel. We watched as middle age men came and sat in the chairs next to us and we continued our conversation. We were well aware that the words we were saying could plant a seed, even if they cannot fully understand the English words we were speaking. These little moments are where I see the importance of "ministry" being how you live every moment of your life.

Last week the staff of FSI did a group fast where we fasted until noon and ate together for lunch every day. This was my first time fully committing to a fast, and it was so encouraging to be with people and to do it as a team. I spent this time along with the others praying about a ministry plan for this next year. Mine looks a little bit different than theirs, but in general, it was nice to have a week fully devoted to asking the Lord what I am being called to focus on this next year. I hope to continue praying about what that looks like, especially when I make my way back to Indiana.

After our week of fasting, we had a 24-hour worship and prayer event. This time was so good for me and the whole team. I challenged myself to stay in this mindset of worship and prayer for the whole 24 hours and it was so refreshing. I spent an hour playing piano and worshiping on my own as children gathered around. I was reminded of how Jesus said, "let the children come to me, for the Kingdom of God is theirs". During this 24-hour period, two women gave their lives to Christ and we got to celebrate together this beautiful moment. It was a time of love, worship, devotion, passionate prayer, celebration, and joy. I will forever cherish these 24 hours.

me enjoying that peanut butter + jelly toast

We have also had a soccer tournament where 12 schools were involved including a team of boys from the juvenile prison. Irma and I took pictures and had a blast as I celebrated my first-ever soccer tournament.

I went to a women's fall party event where we had homemade pumpkin pie, coffee cake, candy corn, and did a fall puzzle.

On Mondays, I started going to a coffee shop in the evenings that hosts an English club where you speak with native English speakers. Sundays I have been attending a church and have made friends with a small group there. We usually end up going out to eat and spending the whole day together: going to the mall and singing karaoke, complete with much laughter, and so much good food.

I got to try my hand at the pottery wheel as we finally got all the materials to begin using them in a ministry setting.

I have eaten lots of peanut butter and jelly toast, seen lots of lizards, made some stray cat friends, heard many avocados fall on my roof, gotten used to driving on the back of a stranger's scooter, and had some very good coffee.

Life is good. Time is fleeting, and tomorrow is not promised here. I know what it is like to have an experience stripped away from me, and I have learned to appreciate each moment here. For the first time in a while, I feel like I am simply living here and my only responsibility is to experience life and learn from those around me. It's a unique experience, and I will cherish it forever. For now, I simply live each moment with a smile and a simple appreciation.